Tag Archives: faith

Unending Love

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Amazing Grace. Those two simple little words put together now mean so much more to me than ever before. If you would have asked me a year ago what those words meant to me, I would have just thought of the song and nothing more. Now, I feel and understand it with every fiber of my being. HE, who has forgiven me for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g and loves me regardless of what I have done or what I may do. Can you imagine loving another human like that? I can’t. It’s simply incomprehensible. Why it took me so long to figure this all out, I’ll never know. But I do know that now that I have, I’m going to do everything possible to glorify Him in my life every single day. Today I will make no apologies about my faith, because it is the greatest gift I have ever received and I pray for each and every one of you to be filled with the light of God so that you too may live in full faith of the One who wants to save us all.

Just last week Addison and I went to the PAO baseball conference. PAO stands for Professional Athletes Outreach. They are an excellent Christian organization whose business is bringing people closer to Jesus. Every year they have a conference for professional baseball players and their spouses as a way to “recharge their batteries” so to speak. I cannot say enough about PAO and their conference and how absolutely wonderful it was. If you are a part of the baseball family, I highly recommend going next year because it will change your life! We worshiped with FFH, heard incredible speakers (Gari Meacham, Francis Chan, Bob Shank, Don Christensen, Jon and Jeni Kitna), connected with and expanded our baseball family, and so much more. But for me the highlight of the week was my baptism with my husband. Addison and I both made the decision to be baptized, together, to make our proclamation to the world that Jesus is our King and Savior. That day, November 29, 2012, will forever be written on my heart.

I am not going to go on and on like I really want to right now, but I do want to leave you with this… I walked this Earth in my days before knowing God in constant fear. Fear of failure, acceptance, rejection, love, future, basically fear of everything. Now that I do know God, He has turned that fear into faith. I know that with Him my life isn’t going to be perfect. I’m not going to get everything I want. I will have struggles. But what I will be is eternally His.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Purpose

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Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life really is? I’m sure it’s fairly common for people to wonder what purpose is meant for them. But I have found that it is extremely easy to feel as if you’ve lost your identity being the wife/fiance/girlfriend of a professional athlete. Especially if you have given up on chasing your own dreams to be with him while he chases his. I have personally struggled with this. Everything in my life revolves around baseball and the pretty unusual circumstances it entails. Because I want to be with my husband to support him and to be there for him, I quit my job. I could get a part time job (not doing anything I’m truly passionate about, just a JOB), but then it may not allow me to be at his games or be able to see him during the few hours of the day he is actually at home. Both would kind of defeat the purpose of me quitting my job to be here with him in the first place. Not to mention, not many employers are chomping at the bit to hire someone who doesn’t even know how long they can be an employee for (if you don’t know already, we can be moved at any time without any notice). But this is just the tip of the iceberg. What really has made me question my purpose is the fact that as long as there is baseball, I will always be the one standing on the sidelines. I won’t be the “star”. No one will want their picture with me or want my autograph. I’ll always be referred to as Addison’s wife or the wife of some ball player. See how easy it is for me to feel as if I have no real purpose or identity?

With that being said I’m doing my best to ignore those toxic thoughts, because they definitely do not do anything to help me. If I let them, they could hurt me and my marriage. So to help me keep those thoughts at bay, I turn to God and the amazing people that He placed in my life to help me see the light. My husband tells me all the time that he is so happy that I’m with him, able to see him almost everyday, and keep him positive. The chaplain for the baseball team and his sweet wife, although I’ve only known them for a short time, have also been wonderful for keeping my views on my role in this lifestyle in check. Just recently they sent an email to a few other wives on the team and me that made me feel kind of special to be doing what I’m doing. Included in the email was a verse from the bible that I’d like to share with you…“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life…Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:10-12,30… See why their email made me feel so special? Thank you God for these amazing people that I know you have personally placed in my life to get me through EVERYTHING! I now truly know that I do have a purpose in life. Right now it just so happens that my purpose is to sacrifice a “normal” life so that I can be with my husband to love and support him and his major league dream.

On Faith…

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So I’m going to do something that I usually don’t like to do because I don’t like to step on toes or make people feel uncomfortable about what I’m saying. I’m going to talk about FAITH in GOD, because -just recently- it has become very important to me. So if you feel uncomfortable with reading opinions about religion and spirituality, this is my warning to you that you might not like what I have to say! Now that that’s out of the way, let’s begin…

I have never been a religious person or really even a person with a whole lot of faith with regards a higher being, i.e God. I’ve always had doubts and I have always favored science because of the readily available facts that it provides. My doubts grew in college as I grew more and more educated in the field of science. Not to mention that I would attend a Catholic church with Addison most Sundays…and trust me when I say if you are a person with doubts about God, the Catholic church may push you even further away IF you are listening for LITERAL meaning in what is being said/done (seriously, no offense to the Catholic faith!). That’s just what happened to me! Every weekend I would leave church angry because I wasn’t looking for or hearing the message, all I was doing is listening to the words that seemed to me to be really critical and judgmental. But slowly, with the help of my sweet and patient husband, I stopped being so literal and let myself actually hear what was being said. I started to look beyond the black and white print, and find the message. I still wasn’t completely convinced though.

It may seem strange to most but baseball is what truly, finally brought faith into my life. As I quit my job and started to prepare for this baseball season, I found myself a little bit…ok A LOT…overwhelmed with all of the unknowns. We can literally control NOTHING that happens with Addison in baseball. I was in dire need of a little inner peace. Then it just happened, one day it all made sense to me. I do not need to worry about anything because there is a plan for us already laid out and whatever happens will happen and we will have the strength to get through and persevere. All we need to do is have trust in the Lord and never lose hope. WHEW! The amount of peace that washed over me after that was amazing. I can’t believe how long it’s taken me to get to this point in my life, where faith actually makes sense, but nonetheless I am so glad I’m here!

 

My inspiration to write this today came from an email I got this morning. I get a daily Women’s Devotional from Baseball Chapel that is written specifically for women who have lived or are living the baseball life and today’s devotional was about having stable faith in Jesus Christ, because in the baseball life so little is stable. I just wanted to share an excerpt from the email that I think is sums it up perfectly!

“To believe and not doubt means not only believing in the existence of God, but also believing in His loving care.  It includes relying on God and expecting that he will hear and answer when we pray.  We must put away our critical attitude when we come to him, and have confidence that God will align our desires with his purposes.  Our Father really knows what is best.”  -Tim Cash of Unlimited Potential Inc. and Baseball Chapel